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Latest Poll Results

Poll results are only shown for closed polls. Results do not update in real time for current polls.

Poll Results

Poll 732: What's the worst?

Total votes: 1311

Stubbing your toe: 288 (22.0%)
Sunburn: 251 (19.1%)
Calf muscle cramp: 226 (17.2%)
Accidentally biting your tongue: 224 (17.1%)
Stepping on a Lego brick barefoot: 82 (6.3%)
A paper cut: 73 (5.6%)
A hangnail: 70 (5.3%)
Whacking your funny bone: 67 (5.1%)
Taking a bite with WAY too much wasabi: 30 (2.3%)  

Older Polls

  1. Who is your favourite character?
  2. Which is your favourite theme?
  3. What helps most to make IWC cool?
  4. Logic puzzle! Are you voting in this poll?
  5. What's the funniest branch of science?
  6. What's the most obscure equation you recognise and understand?
  7. How often do you catch up on IWC?
  8. Star Wars on DVD?
  9. Have you ever found a mistake in IWC?
  10. What should I ask for the next poll?
  11. Which character would make the best US President?
  12. Favourite elementary particle?
  13. Kangaroos:
  14. How long have you been reading IWC?
  15. Most underrated cool fact?
  16. What time zone are you in (ignore daylight savings)?
  17. Most likely way for Steve to die?
  18. Favourite herbivorous dinosaur family?
  19. Worst job in IWC?
  20. Favourite cuisine?
  21. The inevitable U.S. election poll: Vote!
  22. Why isn't green called purple?
  23. Coolest natural disaster?
  24. Most likely to do time in Purgatory?
  25. True or False?
  26. What's your best non-standard sense?
  27. Tomato?
  28. Okay then, who's going straight to Hell?
  29. How do you pronounce sinh-1(x)?
  30. What should Erwin do?
  31. How many other webcomics do you read?
  32. Most offensive musical instrument?
  33. I dunno! Just pick an answer!
  34. Favourite Festive Food?
  35. Real person most likely to be annoyed at appearing in IWC?
  36. Where in Europe is Australia?
  37. 2005 is here! So when do we get moonbases?
  38. Who would make the best Formula One driver?
  39. George Lucas' biggest mistake?
  40. What cheese is the moon made of?
  41. Favourite football?
  42. What should the three Martians be called?
  43. Silliest idea of the future that never happened?
  44. What sort of sandwiches did Erwin make?
  45. Most exotic place you've visited?
  46. Pick an option:
  47. Chocolate?
  48. Most surreal answer to this question?
  49. Who would you most like dinner with?
  50. Best James Bond?
  51. What is thy wish?
  52. 1 e4 e5 2 Nf3 Nc6 3 Bc4 Nf6 4 ?
  53. Why did you do it?
  54. What new theme would you like to see?
  55. So, what do you do?
  56. What do you want to do?
  57. How often should Cliffhangers strips appear?
  58. What poll result do you tend to choose?
  59. What time is it where you are right now?
  60. Have you ever used the search facility?
  61. Controversial poll question!
  62. Last game you played?
  63. Insult me!
  64. If you have two apples, do you have one apple?
  65. Sawàt-dii khráp.
  66. Favourite digit of pi?
  67. Which character would you most like to be?
  68. Are you answering this poll with a 'No'?
  69. Paul McCartney:
  70. If Monty Jones had a sister, what would her name be?
  71. Favourite natural fractal?
  72. Would you buy IWC stuff?
  73. Favourite type of poll?
  74. Geeky science question!
  75. So what did you think?
  76. Pizza?
  77. So what option did I leave out this time?
  78. What adjective do you want to describe yourself when you age?
  79. Why don't you answer the poll?
  80. Is Paris really dead?
  81. In what field would you most like to be famous?
  82. Just think about it.
  83. Favourite type of poll?
  84. Most primitive way you've ever read e-mail?
  85. All right, what should the student's name be?
  86. 1, 2, ___?
  87. How many Deaths are there?
  88. Who will win The Ashes?
  89. How's your Italian?
  90. Best thing before sliced bread?
  91. What superpower do you most want?
  92. How do you treat these polls?
  93. Who would you least like to have as an enemy?
  94. Okay, who would you least like to have as a friend?
  95. Favourite mathematical theorem/axiom/etc?
  96. Question?
  97. Vilest vegetable?
  98. A is different ___ B.
  99. The meaning of life? (42 is not an option)
  100. It's poll number 100!
  101. What do you think Erwin's last name is?
  102. How do you feel about geology?
  103. Psychic poll! Just think your answer, I'll post the results.
  104. First 5 digits of π?
  105. Which do you enjoy more?
  106. What should the Mythbusters test next?
  107. What will be the most popular answer?
  108. Okay, what will be the least popular answer?
  109. I don't have a question
  110. Best popular music decade?
  111. What do you say in a hopeless situation?
  112. Hello
  113. Most likely to exist?
  114. Crossover you most want to see?
  115. Stupidest colour name?
  116. Peanut butter goes best with:
  117. Favourite strip?
  118. Do you know how to hack a web poll?
  119. Daylight savings:
  120. Ouagadougou?
  121. Contest! You win if "A" is the second most popular choice:
  122. How do you wash your hair?
  123. Abstain from voting in this poll.
  124. Favourite food group?
  125. What's scariest?
  126. Roughly what year do you think the space theme is set?
  127. Which would be most mind-blowing if true?
  128. Submit!
  129. Nut?
  130. Have you been naughty or nice this year?
  131. Say ""
  132. What's the best colour for fruit?
  133. Favourite Deadly Sin?
  134. How will you spend New Year's Eve?
  135. Would you eat fugu?
  136. What should Peter Jackson remake next?
  137. Have you checked the forums yet?
  139. What was Captain Hook's name before the crocodile ate his hand?
  140. Favourite part of Japanese culture?
  141. Jetlag?
  142. How will the world end?
  143. Fruit is best...
  144. Moo!
  145. How do you turn the light on?
  146. Why do you love Jar Jar?
  147. What order do you put them on?
  148. Did you answer this question in the previous poll?
  149. Worst drivers?
  150. Readers: You win this poll if between 1% and 10% of you choose A
  151. How many digits of π do you know?
  152. Best cheese for throwing?
  153. Don't you not never use no double negatives?
  154. Character most likely to be a Mary Sue?
  155. Which line separates yellows from oranges?
  156. Will this be the most one-sided yes/no poll in IWC history?
  157. What do you say if you didn't quite hear?
  158. In my real life roleplaying campaigns, which characters do you think are played by the same players as Serron and Paris, respectively?
  159. What's under your bed?
  160. What would you most like to see?
  161. The coloured speech bubbles are:
  162. Most evocative non-food smell?
  163. All in favour?
  164. Do you use the vision-impaired setting?
  165. Is the answer to this question a logical paradox?
  166. Are you published?
  167. Who would you most like to travel with?
  168. How do you mark your place in a book?
  169. Sport is:
  170. Did you know the circumference of a circle is the derivative of its area with respect to radius?
  171. What do you realistically hope to see in your lifetime?
  172. Choose:
  173. Favourite story arc?
  174. Soup!
  175. Which would you most like to go back in time to see? (assuming it's safe)
  176. Who will win?
  177. Which would you prefer to win?
  178. How reliable is this poll?
  179. What card are you?
  180. It's been two years since the Fantasy characters began their quest to cross the Orcrift Mountains, descend into the Swamp of Terror, in search of the Golden Citadel, to seek an audience with the great Dragon Sage Ardaxar, and inquire into the possible location of the missing Ruby of Dwarven Might from the ancient and shattered Crown of Power. How far do you think they'll have progressed in another two years from now?
  181. ________ on a Plane!
  182. What will follow postmodernism?
  183. Should I even bother having non-Allosaurus answers any more?
  184. How good a driver are you compared to the other people who answer this poll?
  185. Cbhirm-ibhf yver ebg13 ra senapnvf?
  186. Missing anything?
  187. If you could travel through time but still connect to the Internet as it exists now, when would you answer this poll?
  188. Which of these is most important in your life?
  189. Which of these words do you pronounce the same?
  190. If dragons were real...
  191. Which line separates greens from blues?
  192. Which line separates reds from violets?
  193. US President G.W. Bush has declared that humanity will return to the moon by 2020. Will we make it?
  194. Which real person should I get to appear in the comic next?
  195. Your most usual breakfast routine?
  196. Ever been in a prison?
  197. What do you think of the International Astronomical Union's proposal for the definition of "planet"? (FAQ here)
  198. Most antisocial behaviour?
  199. If you sampled random Internet users, their average intelligence would be:
  200. Which fruit seeds annoy you most?
  201. What's a nice person like you doing reading a comic like this?
  202. What thought do you give/to the classic poem form/of Japan: haiku?
  203. Preferred pronunciation:
  204. P=NP?
  205. Person most likely to have been a time traveller?
  206. Favourite word/phrase used in English with accented characters?
  207. Most beautiful architectural stone?
  208. Pick a number from 1 to 10:
  209. Are you a photographer?
  210. Do you ever eat standing up?
  211. Creepiest thing about creepy-crawlies?
  212. What should the pirate ship be named?
  213. If you knew you would die next week, what would you do?
  214. What Wiki project would be coolest?
  215. How famous are you?
  216. At a vacation destination, how do you prefer to get around?
  217. What worries you least?
  218. Do you use a shopping list?
  219. Before looking at the options, how many New Zealanders can you name?
  220. How do you carry coins?
  221. Did you notice this poll question appeared a day late?
  222. What age are you and do you drink alcohol?
  223. Does it snow where you live?
  224. If you could buy one extra hour per day on demand, what would be the most you would be willing to pay to do so?
  225. If everyone who answers this poll votes A, I will give you an extra comic next week.
  226. Referring back to the blank strip #1402, did you re-read it as requested by the annotation, including after #1410?
  227. In poll #225, I said if everyone voted A, I would give you an extra comic. Out of 3484 votes, there were 3331 'A's and 153 'B's. I'm giving you a second chance. If at least 3331/3484 (95.6%) of the valid votes for this poll are A, I will give you an extra comic next week.
  228. Are you usually early, late, or on time?
  229. How do you put banknotes in your wallet/purse/moneyclip/pocket?
  230. What's black and white and bounces?
  231. When did you stop believing in Santa Claus?
  232. How controversial is this poll?
  233. Do you ever leave the door open when using the toilet?
  234. How many coins do you have on you right now?
  235. What are you wearing right now?
  236. Nazi science does not sneer at:
  237. What is your Bacon number?
  238. Have you listened to an Irregular Podcast!?
  239. Would your reading experience be significantly improved if I included the actual comic image in the RSS feed, as opposed to just a link to this site?
  240. Have you ever thought about making a webcomic of your own?
  241. Do you always pick the Allosaurus as a poll option?
  242. If there was a game where you win US$1,000,000 just for playing, but have a one in N chance of being killed, how big would N have to be before you would play?
  243. If you suddenly discovered you had significant superpowers, what would you do?
  244. If there was a game where you win money just for playing, but have a one in a million random chance of being killed, and you get to play it exactly once, what would be the smallest prize that you would agree to play for?
  245. Can you get those little "earbud" earphones to stay in your ears?
  246. Most annoying thing about non-sequiturs?
  247. Describe your diet.
  248. A hundred prisoners are each locked in a room with three pirates, one of whom will walk the plank in the morning. Each prisoner has 10 bottles of wine, one of which has been poisoned; and each pirate has 12 coins, one of which is counterfeit and weighs either more or less than a genuine coin. In the room is a single switch, which the prisoner may either leave as it is, or flip. Before being led into the rooms, the prisoners are all made to wear either a red hat or a blue hat; they can see all the other prisoners' hats, but not their own. Meanwhile, a six-digit prime number of monkeys multiply until their digits reverse, then all have to get across a river using a canoe that can hold at most two monkeys at a time. But half the monkeys always lie and the other half always tell the truth. Given that the Nth prisoner knows that one of the monkeys doesn't know that a pirate doesn't know the product of two numbers between 1 and 100 without knowing that the N+1th prisoner has flipped the switch in his room or not after having determined which bottle of wine was poisoned and what colour his hat is, what is the solution to this puzzle?
  249. Do you ever get frustrated by elections where there are no real distinguishing features between the candidates' policies?
  250. Ever been in a hospital?
  251. The Allosaurus was elected US President in a landslide in 2004. How's his first term been?
  252. Do you ever write in books (printed books, not ones meant for writing notes in)?
  253. What do you buy?
  254. How many LEGO pieces do you own?
  255. It's 2040. NASA wants civilians of any nationality for the first Mars colony. It'll be reasonably safe, but colonists will probably never return to Earth. Do you sign up?
  256. Pick the first statement that applies to you.
  257. Favourite curry?
  258. Before looking at the options, pick a number from 1 to 10.
  259. What would you rather watch, live at the venue?
  260. Best sequel compared to the original?
  261. Best 60s-70s era US sitcom?
  262. Fast, cheap, good. Choose two:
  263. Toilet paper preference:
  264. How many spaces do you type after a full stop/period?
  265. You have three weeks vacation, all expenses paid. Where do you go?
  266. Best German contribution to cuisine?
  267. Best song from The Sound of Music?
  268. Do we have free will?
  269. Favourite power tool?
  270. Funniest birds?
  271. Where do you start brushing your teeth?
  272. How many siblings do you have?
  273. Which direction do you head?
  274. Biggest lie ever perpetrated on humanity?
  275. What should I do after the Dr No story in the Espionage theme concludes?
  276. Favourite unpowered locomotion?
  277. What were you like in high school?
  278. Which of these would you most like to see me attempt to explain in an annotation?
  279. Pick any two:
  280. What colour/style socks are you wearing?
  281. If you could instantly know one of these, which would it be?
  282. Do you cook?
  283. Pick the largest number:
  284. What's worst?
  285. Have you read it yet?
  286. Which of these would you most like to visit?
  287. If you suddenly had the ability to instantly and undetectably kill someone just by pointing at them and deliberately wishing them harm, how long would it be until you killed someone that you would later regret killing?
  288. Which of the words we/wee/Wii/oui do you pronounce identically?
  289. Have you ever been on a jury?
  290. If you received US$100,000 (or equivalent in your own currency), what would you do?
  291. Which number is the largest?
  292. The situation: Aliens have appeared and say they have approached ten planets, each of roughly the same population of sentient beings as Earth, with a demand to make as many origami cranes as possible, in perpetuity. The planet that bids the highest number of paper cranes per day, and can deliver on that promise beginning in one month and for at least 10 years, will be spared; the other planets will be destroyed. You are on the committee to decide how many origami cranes Earth should bid. What is your recommendation closest to?
  293. Which Wonder of the World would you most like to see?
  294. Can you swim?
  295. What sort of poll questions do you prefer?
  296. Ever tried Vegemite?
  297. Favourite salad?
  298. Will there be fewer than 100 valid (non-"choose", non-hacked) votes in this poll?
  299. Worst invertebrate vermin?
  300. Which of these is the nicest smell?
  301. Which household chore do you dislike the least?
  302. Have you ever played Dungeons & Dragons?
  303. Yuk!
  304. Feel the shape of your skull. Does it feel kind of weird?
  305. What do you want done with your remains when you're dead?
  306. Describe your relationship with computer programming:
  307. Have you ever hitch-hiked?
  308. What was your answer to this question last time it appeared in the poll?
  309. Would you kill your future self if it was the only way to save your current self's life?
  310. Chocolate goes best with:
  311. Have you read Darths & Droids?
  312. Favourite item of stationery?
  313. Have you stopped torturing your cat yet?
  314. How often are you awake at midnight?
  315. How many plants are inside your home?
  316. How old is the oldest thing you own?
  317. Given 50 ripe bananas, what would you do?
  318. Pick a number, any number.
  319. Which of these statements do you most agree with?
  320. If you had faked your own death and then a year later bumped into your closest friend or relative, what would you say?
  321. You're in an enclosed space with a cobra. Who comes out alive?
  322. Okay, so you beat the cobra. Same deal: enclosed space, you, a taipan. Who comes out alive now?
  323. Impressive. Very well. You're placed in an arena with no weapons, no cover, and a hungry tiger. Only one of you will be let out alive. Which will it be?
  324. Is this the most boring poll ever to appear here?
  325. Okay, but what's your most favourite thing?
  326. Which of these two is more likely?
  327. Which would you most like to stand on top of?
  328. Most annoying thing about Christmas?
  329. One of the following groups will be made extinct tomorrow. It's your choice:
  330. Have you ever made a New Year's resolution?
  331. Bananas are best to eat when the skin is:
  332. Which of these spells would you most like to learn?
  333. If today is Monday, the Friday four days from now and the Friday 11 days from now are, respectively:
  334. Which of the following Blu-ray regions do you live in?
  335. Will this be the most overwhelming poll victory ever?
  336. Star Trek by J. J. Abrams:
  337. When is it too cold to eat ice cream?
  338. You must dye your hair. Which of these colours do you choose?
  339. Has the fact that many computer languages index arrays starting with 0 instead of 1 ever caused you problems?
  340. How many of this poll's responses will be different to your answer?
  341. Which of these South American places would you most like to visit?
  342. If you had to know in advance exactly when you will die, how far ahead would you like to know?
  343. Do you ever select <choose> in protest of the available answer choices?
  344. You can save one of these people from an untimely death:
  345. Which of these is most important for someone to have a working knowledge of in the modern world?
  346. Okay, here's the plan: I was talking at work about how one thing I've never managed to do is learn a musical instrument. Some of the guys at work play various instruments, at differing modicums of ability. I tried to think of something with a gentle learning curve. I mentioned drums. [One of the guys said, "Wait, I thought you said you wanted to learn a musical instrument. Why did you mention drums?" So the joke's been done already, okay?] Other guy said, cool, he had a guitar, bass, and keyboard - all he needed was some drums and we could make a band. He suggested I buy some cheap drums, we keep the whole lot at work and practise, say, one night a week after work. And to make it fair on me, everyone would have to pick an instrument they didn't yet know how to play. He'd take keyboard since he'd never learnt to play it, and the piano-player could take guitar, and so on. So we'd all be starting from scratch. And we'd make a serious effort and practise regularly, and learn a couple of songs. And play at his wedding in October. (Just a song or two, not the whole night. We may be crazy but we're not stupid.) So. This is:
  347. Have you ever worn a school uniform?
  348. What's the best colour for food to be?
  349. Which is least annoying?
  350. Best musical styles?
  351. I had an argument with a friend at work the other day. Who was right?
  352. Which river would you most like to cruise down?
  353. When was the last time you wore a necktie?
  354. Must you repeat everything I say?
  355. What was the last situation in which you wore a necktie?
  356. Mobile phones are:
  357. Which will be last?
  358. What proportion of English sentences that are being said this week have been said, word for word, previously in history?
  359. Stickers on fruit:
  360. What time do you usually eat your first meal of the day?
  361. Which word best describes your personality?
  362. You toss a coin five times, and it comes up heads 5 times in a row. What is the chance the next toss will be tails?
  363. Best Doctor?
  364. Coins, part 2: You toss a coin five times, and it comes up heads 5 times in a row. You don't know if the coin is fair or biased. What is the chance the next toss will be tails?
  365. Do you wear corrective lenses?
  366. Is the customer always right?
  367. Pick a flavour!
  368. Which moon looks the right way up to you?
  369. When was the last time you rode in the back seat of a car?
  370. If I were to ask a serious question in a poll, how would you answer?
  371. Three polar bears versus a TIE fighter. Who would win?
  372. Best Shakespeare comedy?
  373. Which fruit is most improved by being dried?
  374. How far do you live from where you were born (measured around the Earth, not through it)?
  375. Dungeons & Dragons, 4th Edition?
  376. Best Shakespeare tragedy?
  377. How often do you use algebra?
  378. Do you/would you eat raw egg?
  379. Best pasta shape?
  380. Have you ever contributed materially to a webcomic artist?
  381. Favourite spiky thing?
  382. If you met an exact copy of yourself (same memory, same personality), do you think you'd get along?
  383. How often do you cook?
  384. Have you ever had that dream where your teeth fall out?
  385. Other than plane, how would you most like to travel the world?
  386. Clowns.
  387. Best fruit-related exclamation?
  388. What do you think of mezzacotta?
  389. Do you ever lick food off a knife?
  390. What's worse?
  391. Which current Olympic sport should not be?
  392. What bit of Australia would you most like to see?
  393. Vanilla ice cream goes best with:
  394. Who is the richest?
  395. Which would you rather be?
  396. If you invited your future self to a party, and you refused, would you assume that you knew something that you didn't know?
  397. Which of these most deserves more taxpayer funding?
  398. Best mint?
  399. Do you have a portable music player?
  400. How often do you normally use public transport?
  401. Which is better to be?
  402. You have to take up a new hobby (one you don't already do!), and must choose one of these:
  403. And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
  404. mezzacotta is up and running! Does it meet your expectations?
  405. How many weddings have you been to?
  406. My friends Andrew and Veronica are getting married! What should they name their first child?
  407. What is the most important issue in the upcoming US election?
  408. What's the weather like where you are right now?
  409. Cast your vote in the US election:
  410. Pick the first statement that describes your singing:
  411. Who would win in a catfight?
  412. How often do you get up before sunrise?
  413. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
  414. If something is green it is:
  415. When an alien tries to sell you a "hi-fi" system, what is it really offering?
  416. How proficient are you at using chopsticks?
  417. A bar room brawl breaks out involving the following people. Who wins?
  418. What's your poison?
  419. What's the greatest involvement you've ever had in an Internet e-mail scam?
  420. Favourite food fish?
  421. Which comic is funnier: #1402 or #2167?
  422. When was the last time you visited a dentist?
  423. When faced with a dilemma, do people make the better choice more or less than 50% of the time?
  424. Have you ever been injured by a (multi-cellular, non-human) animal badly enough to require professional medical care?
  425. Is this question a dilemma?
  426. When does the weekend begin?
  427. (a) Are you a native English speaker; (b) how many words are in: "I don't know"?
  428. Will more than half the valid votes in this poll be "No"?
  429. The book and the film are both regarded very highly. You don't even know what the story is about, but want to find out. Which do you prefer to do?
  430. Ever seen a dead (human) body?
  431. How many types of cheese do you have in your home right now?
  432. Have a look at the entries for the Creative Commons IWC Remix Competition. Which one do you like best?
  433. Which eye do put to the viewfinder when taking a photo?
  434. What colour pen ink do you usually use?
  435. Which of the following best defines art? (There is no "other" - pick the option that you think best fits.)
  436. Sand.
  437. What's scariest?
  438. Which is the best of these bad sequels/prequels?
  439. Which birthday gift is hardest to disguise?
  440. When you write computer code, what is usually your second highest priority?
  441. I found this painted on a construction hoarding around a building site. Is this art?
  442. How many of your digital photos do you keep?
  443. A global calamity wipes out 99% of humanity and causes civilisation to collapse completely. Would you rather survive or be killed in the calamity?
  444. How many books do you own?
  445. If you were offered an expensive new two-seater sports car, on condition that you give up all other cars you (and your partner, if you have one) have, and that you couldn't sell it, would you take it?
  446. How often do you eat pizza?
  447. You win if you beat the option that gets the most votes:
  448. Do you still fit into clothes you had 10 years ago?
  449. Most stereotypical English thing?
  450. When was the last time you attended a professional sporting event?
  451. How many things do you own that tell the time? (Don't forget computers, appliances, phones, cameras, etc!)
  452. Which would you find a less objectionable format for ads on a DVD movie? The ads are completely unskippable, with any technology whatsoever (this is a hypothetical, okay?).
  453. How are you going to pronounce the name of next year (in English)?
  454. Would you prefer to lose all of your hardware home contents (books, CDs, furniture, etc) or all your software and data (including all backups)?
  455. Can you whistle significantly better inhaling or exhaling?
  456. Which would you prefer?
  457. Did you know that integration is the inverse process to differentiation?
  458. Your eyes are destroyed! You can get a bionic vision implant, but forevermore you will see with a Photoshop filter applied to your vision! Your options are shown in this image. ("Original" is shown for comparison only, and is not an option.) Which filter do you choose?
  459. If you turn a sandwich upside down, does it taste different?
  460. A well-known rich eccentric announces publicly that he wants to do a random act of kindness. He picks your name randomly and offers you ten million US dollars equivalent in your currency, no strings attached. Do you accept?
  461. How do you pronounce the first vowel in "envelope"?
  462. Have you just lost The Game?
  463. Which fruit combines best with chocolate?
  464. A well-dressed man on the street approaches you. He shows you a suitcase full of cash. He says he's a rich eccentric, and he's giving you ten million US dollars equivalent in your currency, no strings attached. Do you accept?
  465. How often do you have a cold shower?
  466. Which of these instruments should be used more by rock bands?
  467. What should we really have by now?
  468. Audio cables:
  469. If you don't like any of the options in a poll, is refusing to vote a valid response?
  470. Let's play Twenty Questions! The classic first question (slightly enhanced):
  471. The Sounds of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel is:
  472. What is breakfast?
  473. Twenty Questions, question 2. I know it's an animal. Is it a human being?
  474. What's the best (approximate) shape for solid food?
  475. If you could start your life over, would you make the same choices?
  476. Twenty Questions, question 3. I know it's a non-human animal. Is it a specific individual animal (as opposed to a generic member of a species)?
  477. This poll has 60% less fat!
  478. What is the atomic number of iron?
  479. Twenty Questions, question 4. I know it's a specific individual non-human animal. All right, let's get it out of the way then. Has this animal been twice elected President of the USA?
  480. If you were immortal, would you eventually do everything a human could do?
  481. Favourite Christmas food (from this list)?
  482. What's the minimum number of people you need to have a party?
  483. Twenty Questions, question 5. I know it's a specific individual non-human animal. Is it a fictional animal?
  484. Go load the mezzacotta Café menu, once. How many of the dishes on the menu would you eat?
  485. Favourite type of milk?
  486. Twenty Questions, question 6. I know it's a specific fictional non-human animal. Is it of a species that exists (or existed) in reality?
  487. Which would you prefer to do for 30-60 minutes of exercise?
  488. Should Tom Bombadil have been in Peter Jackson's Fellowship of the Ring movie?
  489. Is it better to know stuff or not?
  490. Twenty Questions, question 7. I know it's a specific fictional non-human animal of a real species. Is it (primarily) an animated cartoon character?
  491. I've generated a random integer from 1 to 1,000,000 and looked at it before writing this question. Is it 329,218?
  492. You are cryogenically frozen. When would you prefer to be revived?
  493. How many keys do you normally carry when you leave the house?
  494. Twenty Questions, question 8. I know it's a specific non-animated, fictional, non-human animal of a real species. Is it (originally) a character from literature or poetry?
  495. Funniest non-reproductive organ?
  496. These polls deliberately don't include an "other" option. Do you ever wish they did?
  497. Twenty Questions, #9. I know it's a specific non-animated, fictional, non-human animal of a real species, originally from literature or poetry. Is it a mammal?
  498. When playing a tennis rally, how do you carry an extra ball?
  499. Have you ever been to Europe?
  500. Twenty Questions, #10. I know it's a specific non-animated, fictional, non-human mammal of a real species, originally from literature or poetry. Can it talk?
  501. How often do you buy salt?
  502. Reference material: Experience point. Which of the following sentences are correct? (A) This is going to be worth so many XP. (B) This is going to be worth so many XPs. (C) This is going to be worth so much XP. (D) This is going to be worth so much XPs.
  503. You're eating out and want dessert. The place has both chocolate cake and cheesecake. Your reaction?
  504. Twenty Questions, #11. I know it's a specific non-animated, fictional, non-human, talking mammal of a real species, originally from literature or poetry. Is its species carnivorous (as opposed to omnivorous/herbivorous)?
  505. 3D movies and TV:
  506. Graffiti:
  507. Twenty Questions, #12. I know it's a specific non-animated, fictional, non-human, talking carnivorous mammal of a real species, originally from literature or poetry. Is it a feline?
  508. If you were wealthy enough not to have to work for a living, would you still work?
  509. Which Jules-Verne-inspired journey would you most like to take in real life?
  510. Choose a response that produces the largest cumulative insult:
  511. Twenty Questions, #13. I know it's a specific non-animated, fictional, non-human, talking non-feline carnivorous mammal of a real species, originally from literature or poetry. Is it a canine?
  512. When was the oldest piece of music on your portable music player composed?
  513. When you return here and see the poll question hasn't changed, do you:
  514. If you were a soup, which would you be?
  515. Twenty Questions, #14. I know it's a specific non-animated, fictional, non-human/-feline/-canine, talking carnivorous mammal of a real species, originally from literature or poetry. Is it male?
  516. From left to right, which order are these stored in your cutlery drawer?
  517. How do you eat corn on the cob?
  518. What month were you born in?
  519. Twenty Questions, #15. I know it's a specific male non-animated, fictional, non-human/-feline/-canine, talking carnivorous mammal of a real species, originally from literature or poetry. Is it from British literature?
  520. What industry sector do you work in?
  521. Can things be both funny and offensive?
  522. What do your parents think you do for a living?
  523. You've just woken up. You need to have a shower and leave the house. How much time do you need?
  524. Twenty Questions, #16. I know it's a specific male non-animated, fictional, non-human/-feline/-canine, talking carnivorous mammal of a real species, originally from British literature or poetry. Does it wear any clothing?
  525. What do you consider to be the defining characteristic of a carnivorous animal?
  526. Ginger ...
  527. How many raw, whole eggs in your kitchen right now?
  528. Twenty Questions, #17. I know it's a specific male non-animated, fictional, non-human/-feline/-canine, talking clothes-wearing carnivorous mammal of a real species, originally from British literature or poetry. Is it either one of a bear, badger, mole, or weasel?
  529. When you need to type a multiplication sign in a document (i.e. not computer code), what do you use?
  530. You have a question about a website. What do you do?
  531. Twenty Questions, #18. I know it's a specific male, talking, clothes-wearing carnivorous bear, badger, mole, or weasel, originally from British literature or poetry. Is it either a bear or a weasel?
  532. How polarising will this poll be?
  533. Your favourite sports team wins a game only because of a blatant refereeing/umpiring error. Do you:
  534. Twenty Questions, #19. I know it's a specific male, talking, clothes-wearing carnivorous bear or weasel, originally from British literature or poetry. Is the character a villain?
  535. When you change your toothbrush, do you:
  536. In general, if something offensive is funny, is it more justifiable to do it than if it isn't funny?
  537. Retail loyalty programs:
  538. Twenty Questions, #20! I know it's a specific male, talking, clothes-wearing carnivorous bear or weasel villain, originally from British literature or poetry. Is it... Iofur Raknison from Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy?
  539. When you come back from vacation, what fraction of your photos have people in them?
  540. How did you approach the Twenty Questions polls?
  541. Go get an orange and peel it. Go on, this poll will be here for a few days. How many segments are inside?
  542. What feature of Irregular Webcomic! do you most want to see again soon?
  543. How many different types of fruit do you have in your home right now?
  544. How do you press the button to activate a pedestrian crossing?
  545. What is your second favourite thing on this list?
  546. You see some candy in a bowl at a relative's house. Judging from experience, what flavour are the green ones most likely to be?
  547. Hottest male in Irregular Webcomic!?
  548. Hottest female in Irregular Webcomic!?
  549. Hottest being of indeterminate, non-specified, ambiguous, changeable, neuter, or potentially wrongly assumed sex in Irregular Webcomic!?
  550. In what order do you normally put on socks and shoes?
  551. How often do you normally buy groceries?
  552. When was the last time you had a 3-week or longer travel vacation?
  553. What's your desk like?
  554. Favourite old-fashioned female name from this list?
  555. Do you prefer to eat kidney or liver?
  556. Best medical advance?
  557. Best combo?
  558. What line separates bananas from poetry?
  559. Best popular song featuring bagpipes?
  560. On what day does the phrase "next Thursday" roll over to refer to a different Thursday?
  561. I've tossed a coin before writing this poll question. Heads or tails?
  562. Why, why, why, Delilah?
  563. After this poll closes I will toss a coin. Heads or tails?
  564. Poll 561 asked "I've tossed a coin before writing this poll question. Heads or tails?" Poll 563 asked "After this poll closes I will toss a coin. Heads or tails?" Is there any meaningful difference between these two questions?
  565. Soup. Do you eat it, or drink it?
  566. Do you wear jeans to work/school?
  567. How often do you travel by train?
  568. What's the opposite of cheese?
  569. Dog or cat? Summer or winter? Chocolate or ice cream? Pen or pencil?
  570. What do you normally wear on your feet in your own home?
  571. Do you own any original artwork by a professional artist?
  572. When you see words on signs or posters or things, do you ever read them backwards (aloud or in your head) to see what they sound like?
  573. Favourite Brassica oleracea?
  574. Best Beatles album?
  575. There's something you're especially good at. Better than most of your peers. It's "your thing". In what broad field of endeavour is it?
  576. When was the last time you used a public phone?
  577. What is your normal sleeping habit?
  578. Favourite herb?
  579. Favourite word that rhymes with -oodle?
  580. Most interesting thing on this list?
  581. How often do you wear a hat?
  582. Best name (on this list) for a Thai restaurant?
  583. Would you eat in vitro meat?
  584. How many syllables do you use to pronounce "miniature"?
  585. Best "Russian" thing?
  586. If you choose an answer to this poll at random, what is the chance you'll choose the most popular answer?
  587. Read this limerick. Out loud. //There once was a man named MacMurray/Who cooked lots of fiery curry/He made it too hot/Taste good it did not/So he met fiery doom in a hurry// Now consider the scansion in lines 2 and 5:
  588. Find the nearest book to you right now. What is it?
  589. Best food to name a child after?
  590. If you were a robot, rather than human, and you didn't know it, would you want to be told?
  591. Who would you trust more?
  592. Ickiest creepy-crawly?
  593. Best thing on this list?
  594. If it was possible to know exactly when you will die, would you like to know?
  595. What house would you like to be sorted into?
  596. You can be rich and famous! And you get to choose your profession! (from these):
  597. Worst line in Star Wars?
  598. Favourite sauce-like condiment?
  599. 4 week holiday! You must pick one of these vacation hotspots:
  600. Will the world end on 21 December 2012?
  601. Which would you most like a voyage on?
  602. May I offer you a hot beverage?
  603. What type of musical instrument/s do you play?
  604. Do you use wikis?
  605. Which would you most want to ride in?
  606. Since the start of this year, what's the longest walk you've taken?
  607. To the nearest given option, what direction does the head of your bed point?
  608. First audio format you bought music on?
  609. If you came back from the future to advise you to bet your entire savings and assets on an incredibly risky wager, would you follow your future self's advice?
  610. If you're eating a sandwich and some breadcrumbs fall into your glass of water, would you drink the water?
  611. US Presidential election time! Vote!
  612. How many phone numbers do you have memorised (other than an emergency number)?
  613. What hand do you use to eat finger food?
  614. Do you add salt and/or pepper to your food at the table?
  615. What is your primary home operating system?
  616. Star Wars Episode VII?!
  617. Mango chutney is to Google Glass as Marylebone tube station is to ...?
  618. When was the last time you went to a wedding?
  619. Do you do laundry?
  620. Will every response to this poll be "No"?
  621. Which would you rather give up for the rest of your life?
  622. When was the last time you made something you would call art?
  623. How do you characterise where you live?
  624. If the following were alive today and unable to make a living composing concertos, operas, symphonies, etc., which one would be making the best career out of composing film music?
  625. Which Doctor did you grow up with?
  626. What's worse at 3 in the morning?
  627. What is the most recent era of music which you consider to be "oldies"?
  628. Favourite polyhedral die?
  629. What's the most common thing on your walls?
  630. Most annoying computer-related thing?
  631. Given two identical LEGO pieces stuck directly atop one another, which are the hardest to separate?
  632. You are answering this poll on a:
  633. Which Dungeons & Dragons monster would be coolest if it really existed (and you could potentially see one)?
  634. What colour is your current toothbrush (predominantly)?
  635. You've just met a very nice man who offers to sell you a bridge at a very reasonable price. Which bridge do you buy?
  636. How heavy/light do you pack for travel (say for a few weeks)?
  637. Are you a nerd and/or a geek?
  638. Name a fruit beginning with P:
  639. How lucky are you?
  640. You're at work/school and need to remember to do something (that you might potentially forget) when you get home. Do you:
  641. Do you ever eat on public transport?
  642. When do you usually shower/bathe?
  643. You need to invent a middle initial to distinguish yourself from someone else with the same name in a professional field. What do you choose?
  644. Are there bats near you (say, within half an hour's travel)?
  645. Do you ever use complex numbers?
  646. What do you think of song lyrics that have poor grammar just so they match the rhyme or meter?
  647. What's the biggest body of water you've swum in?
  648. How many languages have you spoken at least a few words of to someone in an attempt to communicate? (using a phrasebook counts)
  649. Best non-Asian rice dish?
  650. What is the smell of Christmas?
  651. How would you say "Banana" in a humorous way by stressing a different syllable?
  652. I have good news and bad news. What do you want first?
  653. Right then, the bad news is: You'll have to wait until January. The good news is: Irregular Webcomic! books are coming! Will you buy a book?
  654. What can you hear right now?
  655. Worst Star Wars episode?
  656. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
  657. When watching a movie/TV and someone goes underwater and has to hold their breath, do you hold your breath?
  658. Most expensive thing you've ever bought?
  659. Who would you most like to be the 2016 Republican Party Presidential nominee?
  660. Care for a drink?
  661. When parking in a perpendicular parking spot, do you:
  662. Do you toast fresh, unfrozen bread?
  663. Better movie version?
  664. For the arithmetic problem 9×9, which of the following best matches your thoughts about the two possible incorrect answers 18 and 77?
  665. How many times have you crossed the equator, and the international date line?
  666. The traditional US Presidential election poll! Vote for your preferred President:
  667. Time for something soothing. Choose:
  668. You're having cream tea. What order do you put the cream and jam on the scone?
  669. Okay then, how do you pronounce "scone"?
  670. Do you ever walk around while brushing your teeth?
  671. How often do you ride a bus?
  672. Have you ever sorted a pack of mixed nuts?
  673. The statement "This statement is false," is:
  674. Favourite meme cat?
  675. At an avant-garde ice cream place, what flavour do you choose?
  676. When was the last time you used a payphone?
  677. It looks like something supernatural is causing trouble near you. Who ya gonna call?
  678. From an alien perspective, what is the major distinguishing disadvantage of humans?
  679. Your home can be in a place with one of these views. What do you choose?
  680. How often do you use GPS navigation?
  681. Without context, what's the first thing you think "DC" means? (decide first, before looking at the options)
  682. Without modern medicine, would you be alive today?
  683. Where do you typically carry your wallet?
  684. Worst part of air travel?
  685. You're murdered! Who do you want investigating to find the culprit?
  686. You get just one of these near you. They make both bread and cake/pastry products. Which do you choose?
  687. Best apple?
  688. You have to squeeze sideways past a row of seated people at the theatre. Do you:
  689. To the Bat-Poll! Best Batman?
  690. What types of peanut butter do you have in your home?
  691. You have a time machine! Where will you go first?
  692. New comics restart Monday 3 December! What are you looking forward to most?
  693. Name as many species of birds that you see in everyday life as you can. How many?
  694. What scares you more?
  695. How do you wash your feet?
  696. A shopkeeper hands you what looks like $30 (or £30, 30€, whatever) too much change. How sure do you need to be that you gave them a 20, not a 50, to give the $30 back?
  697. To your best estimate, how many push-ups have you done in your life?
  698. Best Queen song (apart from Bohemian Rhapsody)?
  699. What do you call this? [image]
  700. If you could visit the past and possibly change history, what would you do?
  701. Would you invite an exact copy of yourself to a party you were throwing? Would you accept?
  702. How adventurous are you with food?
  703. How often do you clean the crumbs out of your toaster?
  704. Do you listen to the radio?
  705. When do you take your Christmas decorations down?
  706. Mint:
  707. Are there any words that you habitually pronounce differently to most people around you?
  708. You're being sent to 1890 London for a five year time mission. You'll have one of the first homes with electric lighting. You need to look after yourself without revealing you're from the future. You can take one of these appliances, which do you choose?
  709. On a scale of 0-10 where 0 = "a continuum" and 10 = "strictly binary", where do you place the categorisation "alive/not-alive"?
  710. When washing dishes using a cloth/sponge/brush, which hand do you hold the dish in, and which hand do you hold the cloth/sponge/brush in?
  711. Combination of most delicious food, but most annoying to eat?
  712. Is "Amanda" a word (in English)?
  713. How would you feel living in a house where none of the walls meet at 90° angles, rather the walls all meet at either 60° (like an equilateral triangle) or 120° (like a hexagon)?
  714. How do you prefer your liquorice allsorts?
  715. On a scale of 0-10, how legible is your signature?
  716. Carrot cake or carob cake?
  717. Someone asks you the time. Your watch says 10:18. Do you reply:
  718. We've run it every U.S. election since 2004! Time to vote again!
  719. How's the climate where you live?
  720. Your least favourite household chore?
  721. Favourite green vegetable?
  722. Which side is the front of the shower?
  723. You're making a pizza at home. Where does the cheese go?
  724. Best way to verb “screenshot” in present and past tenses?
  725. It's often said that a dull kitchen knife is more dangerous than a sharp one, because a sharp knife needs less pressure, has more control, etc. However in your own personal experience, and setting aside which you might prefer to use, is this true?
  726. If you met your younger self, how young would they need to be before you didn't recognise them?
  727. You're cutting an onion in half. Do you cut it equatorially, or pole to pole?
  728. If you you could only buy chicken whole with feathers on and guts still inside, would you ever cook them yourself?
  729. Can you whistle?
  730. What type of wristwatch do you wear?
  731. Do you wash rice before cooking it?
  732. What's the worst?
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My comics: Irregular Webcomic! | Darths & Droids | Eavesdropper | Planet of Hats | The Dinosaur Whiteboard | mezzacotta
My blogs: (daily updates) | 100 Proofs that the Earth is a Globe (science!) | Carpe DMM (long form posts) | Snot Block & Roll (food reviews)
More comics I host: The Prisoner of Monty Hall | Lightning Made of Owls | Square Root of Minus Garfield | iToons | Comments on a Postcard | Awkward Fumbles
© 2002-2024 Creative Commons License
This work is copyright and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 4.0 International Licence by David Morgan-Mar.