1 Guard: Here is your food.
2 Monty: Say, what happened to that old guard who was here last time? He used to tell us stories about his service in the Great War.
3 Guard: He has retired to die countryside. It was always his ambition to end his days caring for animals.
4 Monty: You mean...
4 Guard: Ja. He is a veteran Aryan.

Hands up everyone who thought this would be a wurst pun after the opening line.

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2023-10-31 Rerun commentary: His favourite is looking after the sausage dogs.