1 Ophelia: How did you get into hatmaking? That's a rather specialised profession in this day and age.
2 Theophilus: Oh, I always wanted to, but the apprenticeships are in high demand and cost a lot of money.
3 Theophilus: I got my break on a quiz show, which offered a huge prize just for answering a few questions.
4 Mercutio: Really? What show?
4 Theophilus: Who Wants to Be a Milliner?

I've shamelessly stolen this joke from forum contributor pjt33. It was too awful not to share with a wider audience.

Please direct your pantomime booing and hissing at him.