1 Ishmael: Oh man... they've invaded my room. They're using my net connection! I have to tell someone! Who do I know who can do something about aliens?
2 Ishmael: The Man in Black! Now... how to contact him?
3 Ishmael: {looking through phone book} "Man"... no. "Black"... no. "Aliens"... Hmmm. Citizenship and Immigration Services, well that's not right.
4 Ishmael: Where's a shadowy government agent when you...?
4 Man in Black: {appearing suddenly behind him} What did I tell you about aliens?

It's one thing to have aliens steal your room key and squat in your dorm room, but you really don't want them using your bandwidth.