1 Lambert: This reminds me of when my uncle Bilbert was charged with treason by his village. They sentenced him to the worst punishment possible.
2 Lambert: Threw him in a locked dungeon cell with no food. Execution by starvation! And him well past his 100th birthday!
3 Lambert: They should have treated him better. But he lasted a full week until they finally pardoned and released him.
4 Mordekai: Wow... that's amazing for such an aged man.
4 Lambert: Not really. Old hobbits die hard.

Continuing Lambert's story from #791 and #891.

What about the imp, you ask?

What about your unrealistic expectation of continuity, I riposte!

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2014-12-29 Rerun commentary: Not long after this event, Uncle Bilbert's village was attacked by multiple forces of raiders, led by bards who rallied their troops with tunes played on small metal flutes. Bilbert stole into the enemy encampment and filched a magical flagon, with which he led his village to victory: The Hobbit, and the Bottle of the Fife Armies.