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1 Ophelia: Mercutio, you have to do something about Will's Lord of the Rings files! He's written himself into the plot!
2 Mercutio: That's not so bad, Ophelia. Lots of writers do that.
3 Ophelia: As the new love interest for Éowyn!
4 Mercutio: Noooo! She's too good for him!
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Ah yes, the one sure way to get a geek's passions roused. Set up some competition for the hypothetical affections of a fantasy fiction babe.
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