1 {scene: Steve and Terry's house}
1 SFX: Riiing!
2 {scene change: Jane Goodall's office, in Africa}
2 Jane Goodall: {into phone} Terry, it's Jane. I hear you have a Balrog in the area. Can you and Steve capture it and make sure nothing happens to it?
3 {scene change: Steve and Terry's house}
3 Terry: {into phone} Er... That may be a little difficult. {Steve is covering the dead Balrog with a sheet.}
4 Terry: {into phone} But how did you know there's a Balrog near us?
4 Jane Goodall: {over phone} Oh please. I'm Jane freakin' Goodall!

I wonder how you dispose of a Balrog body. It's not the sort of thing the local vet can pick up and take care of for you. And burying it in the back yard could raise some interesting questions down the track.

And it's probably still immune to fire, so cremation sure isn't an option.